The Good Guy
Scene 1
Dylan: “There is no creature more evil and depraved than the human female. Women are vicious, evil, barbaric animals, and need to be treated as such.”
Now I know how that sounds, and before you go off on me, no, I didn’t write that. Not my words, I swear. Look, I will admit it’s a bit extreme. The first time I read it I was shocked too, but I’m telling you if look that bit deeper, really think about what he’s saying, you can’t pretend that he doesn’t have a point.
Katie: There was this girl… I’ve been reading about her a lot lately. She was born in Seattle but grew up in California. She was a Tri-Delta at UCSB, just like her mum, and her grandma back in the day. Back in middle school she was the only girl who played baseball in a league with five hundred boys, can you imagine? And that wasn’t the only sport she was into, she was on the water polo team, did cross country, played softball… and she always wore converse. Her mantra, according to her parents was, “have fun and laugh like you mean it.” Her favourite colour was purple.
Her name was Veronika Weiss and she died on the evening of May 23rd, 2014, she was 19 years old. Veronika and her sorority sister, Katherine Cooper, were both shot and killed when they walked past the Alpha Phi sorority house not too far from their college.
The man who killed them…
His name was Elliot Rodger.
Dylan: Elliot Rodger. Maybe it’s controversial but I sort of feel sorry for the guy. You know he was only 22 years, so young and to have already gone through so much pain, it’s no wonder he snapped. Now I’m not condoning what he did, killing those people. Obviously, murder is wrong, but… when you watch his videos and read his manifesto, you can see how much pain he was in. Does anyone really deserve to be alone like that? The way women treated him, you know, ignoring him, rejecting him, can you really blame him for feeling like he had no other way out?
Katie: Before he even got to Alpha Phi that evening, where he shot Veronika and Katie, he’d already stabbed his two roommates and their friend, George Chen, to death. Cheng Yuan Hong and Weihan Wang were only two weeks away from moving out when Elliot decided to murder them. He stabbed three people to death and then went out to get a cup of coffee…
Dylan: It’s all there, his whole plan, his “Day of Retribution,” he talks about all of it in his manifesto. He uploaded that and his last videos right before he went off on his shooting spree, didn’t want to risk anyone seeing it and trying to stop it before it was too late.
And even with all that planning and preparation… Of course, the sorority girls wouldn’t let him in, so in the end they didn’t have to deal with a single consequence… instead he just had to settle with whoever else was nearby. To have been so close…
Katie: After Elliot murdered Veronika and Katherine, he got back in his car and kept driving through Isla Vista, firing at random as he went. His shooting spree killed another man: Christopher Michael-Martinez was shot seven times. By the end of that day Elliot had murdered those six people and injured another fourteen.
Dylan: And then he killed himself. He was only 22… it’s such a waste.
Katie: Apparently when they found his body, they also found three pistols, several knives, six empty ten-round magazines, and 548 rounds of unspent ammunition.
548 rounds that he didn’t even use…
I don’t know how many of you have heard that story before? You might not have heard the full thing, but it probably rings some distant bells somewhere. It was a few years back now. Maybe you feel like you’ve heard or read the name Elliot Rodger before somewhere? Or maybe you don’t.
I didn’t.
I mean I’m sure when it happened back in 2014, I must have heard it mentioned on the news at some point, but, and god it sounds horrible, but after a while they all blend together a bit. I know they shouldn’t, but they do… there’s always a horrible shooting that’s just happened somewhere, like there was the one on that island in Norway, or that Mosque in New Zealand, or that cinema in the states when the dark knight movie had just come out… Look my point is… I get it, if you don’t remember this one. If Elliot, and Katie, and Veronika at some point slipped past you. Because I was exactly the same.
It's weird to think now, that I didn’t know the name Elliot Rodgers. That there was a time I’d just never heard of it. Never heard of him, or Alek Minassian, or Harper-Mercer, or George Sodini, or even just Jordan Peterson. Weird, right?
I can’t really pinpoint when it changed, when it started, you know?
Scene 2:
Dylan: I didn’t hear about Elliot until pretty late on when you think about it. I don’t want to get too into it, to be honest it’s a bit embarrassing, but my parents didn’t really let me use the internet much when I was growing up, I didn’t get a smart phone until I was, what 18? 19? And at home we all shared the one family computer, even when I was a teenager, I’m sure you can imagine how fun that was. It really wasn’t until I finally moved away for college that I had any kind of freedom with that sort of stuff.
But, of course, by then it was too late. Do you know how weird people think you are if you’re not on Instagram? Or snapchat, I don’t know, social media in general, I guess? When you don’t get any of the references… you’d think I was some kind of freak. Like it’s my fault that my mum was crazy?
Katie: I guess if I had to choose one moment, like the one specific turning point, I’d say it was when I went to go see that podcast. You know how they do those live recordings of them, well I got dragged along to one of those and looking back on it now, that might have been the moment.
You might not know it to look at me now, but I wasn’t always the most… feministy feminist out there. When I say I got dragged along to this show I mean it. You know it’s not like I wasn’t a feminist at all, or was like anti us having basic rights or anything like that, just, I didn’t get why it always had to be such a big deal. My brother’s girlfriend though, she’s fully into the whole feminist activism thing. Always has been. Shona’s always going on some march or is telling us about some new TedTalk she’s just watched. That kind of stuff, you know. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve always thought the stuff she’s chatting about is interesting-ish, but I’ve never exactly gotten into it the same way she does.
Dylan: Everyone talks about how amazing college is, it’s the best years of your life, that’s what they all said. You’re meant to find your people and like you go out every night and hook up with hot strangers and have all these wild adventures. Yeah… right... I’d never exactly clicked with the ones from school, I suppose we got on alright, but like I said I was the weird kid who didn’t have a phone and had a creepy obsessed mum needing to know where I was 24/7. No one wants to be friends with that. And I can tell you absolutely no one wants to date that. So yeah, school wasn’t really for me. But college, that was going to be it. When my life came together. Except it turns out being the weird kid doesn’t change just ‘cause you move away, so I got to spend college alone. No girls, no dating, no wild adventures or crazy one night stands for me. It was a blast.
Katie: One day my brother went and got her a couple of tickets to go see her favourite podcast as a birthday present, sounds sweet right? But, typical Gavin, he booked it for a night when none of her friends were free… so of course, he’s like: Sorry babe, I’m working then but why don’t you see if Katie wants to go?
So, then I’m put on the spot, not like I can say no and leave her alone on her birthday now, can I? Much as I’d rather not spend my night listening to a two-hour lecture on how much the world sucks it would be pretty crappy of me to bail on her. So, the next thing I know I’m with her at The Guilty Feminist live recording.
And it was completely amazing. Like really, really, amazing.
Dylan: I’ll admit I did get one thing out of that time in my life. I got out of my parent’s place. That first taste of independence almost made up for the rest. For the first time in my life I had my own laptop, I had my own phone, I even eventually saved up and got myself an xbox. Worth every cent.
I got really into CS, counterstrike. For a while there I’d spend almost every night on it and the more I played the more I got chatting with the other guys online. And yeah, a lot of them acted the same as everyone else I already knew, but there were a few of them who actually listened to me. When I didn’t get the reference or the joke they didn’t just laugh at me and move on, they helped me… told me about the sites they were on so I could actually get in on the joke and be a part of it too. No one had ever done something like that for me before.
Katie: The feeling in the room was incredible, everyone was just so friendly and welcoming. I didn’t know that it could be like that, like so warm, you know? Like everyone was just so passionate about being there? And it was fun! I didn’t know feminism could be fun? It always just seemed so intense and serious, and to be honest sometimes kind of boring, but this? This was fun! And funny, like actually, genuinely funny! The woman who was running it could be an actual comedian if she wanted.
Dylan: It was thanks to those guys I ever found reddit, or 4chan even. These forums, these places, where suddenly I could see hundreds of people asking the same questions I’d been asking myself for years. Writing about the exact same things that I was going through. Maybe it’s crazy but for the first time in my life I actually felt like I had somewhere I belonged.
Katie: And, I had no idea there were so many real issues still going on. Like, I was telling Gavin about it afterwards, it turns out that over a third of all women across the entire world have experienced physical or sexual violence at some point in their lives, and that’s not even counting harassment, that’s like a whole other thing. Isn’t that crazy! Seriously, Gav, can you believe that? And, they were saying, I think it was, one hundred and thirty something women across the world are killed by a member of their own family every day. Yeah, I’m not even kidding, it’s like an epidemic or something. I can’t believe I never knew…
Scene 3:
Dylan: It's incredible how much help is out there once you start looking for it. I ended up on a few different sub/reddits, they literally have one for anything you can think of, but the one I probably used the most was this one meant for “pick up artists,” PUAs, but it wasn’t really just for them. It was more this space for all of us to share dating advice and tips and ask questions. I’ve never really known how to talk to girls, let’s be honest, most girls look at me and reject me before I can even say a word, so it’s not something I’ve ever gotten much practice at. But here I was able to start learning, to really start trying to do better. These were guys who knew what they were talking about, and I wasn’t going to waste my chance to learn from the best. Some of the advice was quite general:
Confidence is key. Women watch and analyse everything a man does, so walk and move with confidence. Posture is important, shoulders back, chest out, head up.
Some of it was maybe a bit obvious but I’d somehow always missed it:
Cast a wide net. Essentially, the more girls you try to pick up, the more success you’ll have. Think outside the box – you can strike up a conversation just about anywhere, and who knows where it might lead?
And some of it I could only hope I’d actually get the chance to use:
Be Direct. Want to kiss her goodnight? Go for it. "Kissing someone is an emotional thing, and asking permission diverts it into a cognitive realm instead. Women hate that."
For the first time I had hope. This was going to be the turning point for me. I watched all the videos, read all the articles, read every comment thread and followed every link. I even saved up just enough for one of those online courses, it was pricey but I learnt so much. I was ready.
I met her on hinge, she wasn’t really my type but we chatted for a while and I didn’t want to miss a chance to put everything I’d learnt into practice… so I asked to meet her in person and she said yes!
My first date, I was prepared for this. Remembered everything I’d learnt. Sit at 90 degrees from her, women find it intimidating when you sit straight across from them. Don’t be too eager or agreeable. Make her work for it. Don’t laugh too much. Be confident, be assertive, be a man.
I put the work in.
But, of course, none of that mattered. She ghosted me.
It didn’t matter how hard I tried, or what I did. Nothing worked. Women still hated me, even when I was doing everything right. All the rules that worked for everybody else kept letting me down, and I couldn’t understand why? What about me was so unlovable? That little spark of hope I had was gone almost as quickly as it came.
Scene 5: Katie
I don’t care what Gavin says, I am not obsessed… I’ve just finally found something that I’m passionate about. You know most people would think that’s a good thing and maybe try being happy for their little sister but no, apparently between me and Shona, he can barely hear himself think anymore. Well actually Gavin, men will estimate that women have been dominating a conversation when they’ve only been talking for 30% of the time, so maybe check your subconscious bias before you say I’ve been going on at you.
Ok, I know that I have been talking about it a lot lately, but can you blame me, it’s just so crazy to me how much I didn’t know. Just all this stuff that we never talk about. Can you believe I’ve started reading again, like actual proper reading. I’ve started buying all these feminist books, and they’re so interesting of course I’m going to talk about them!
Like, so I was telling my friends about this at drinks the other night, and you’re not going to believe this right. So, the EU has these five crash tests that you have to do on a car before you’re allowed to sell it right? So, not a single one of these tests needs you to use an anthropometrically, I think that’s the word, correct female crash test dummy. Yeah, that is a big deal. So, like women are 47% more likely to be injured in a serious car crash. 47% is a lot.
Yeah but it’s not just that, it’s like the whole way the world is built is for male bodies not female bodies, you know even the size of a smart phone is designed for men not women. Seriously think about it, phones are way too big for our hands now days, and don’t even get me started on pockets-
Shut up it is serious, like, there’s also this whole authority gap thing, it’s like the pay gap but with basic respect and compassion. Like people will just respect men even when they haven’t earned it, but a woman always has to prove-
Ok but where’s the data for any of this?
Of course, it’s Paddy who interrupts me. He’s been seeing my best friend Laura for a few months now but doesn’t really hang out with us that much. Until tonight.
Actually, the book I’ve been reading has done a bunch of studies on this-
Yeah that’s grand but how can you study something like respect or authority? There’s no science for that. Isn’t there a chance maybe these men are just good at their jobs and people respect them for that? Is that really a bad thing?
No obviously I’m not saying that, it’s more that just with so many more men in these positions of power, in like politics or business or whatever, it means we all tend to assume that men in general are better in those roles so we give them more-
How do we know they aren’t?
What?
How do we know men aren’t better in those roles? I’m not saying that women shouldn’t be working in these sectors, business, politics, STEM areas, or can’t be good bosses, I’m sure they can, but maybe there’s a reason that its mainly men working in these fields? Maybe there’s a reason we’re the ones who tend to get the leadership roles? Don’t you think it’s possible that men are just better than women at some things, and I’m sure there are some things women are better at than men. And some things just work better when we all play to our strengths. Come on, you have to admit it’s at least possible.
I’m speechless.
Like I genuinely have no response to this, what am I meant to say to that? I look at Laura thinking maybe she’ll back me up on this, help me out, but no, she just moves the conversation on, and we’re suddenly talking about the rescue kitten she’s just adopted. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so alone.
Scene 6:
Dylan: I stopped going on the PUA sub/reddit. I clearly didn’t belong there, so what was the point in trying? What was the point of any of it? All I got was rejected. Humiliated. I’m done, just done.
Katie: On the walk home, I keep thinking about all the things I should have said, the arguments I should have made. Why did I just sit there like an idiot and let him talk like that? What’s wrong with me!
Dylan: I decide to delete my account, I’m not going to waste any more of my time of that fantasy… but, in one of those weird twists of fate, that’s when I see it.
Katie: It’s late by the time I get in but I’m too angry to sleep so I decide to get started on my newest buy. See, I know what I’m talking about, it’s not like I’ve spent the last few months reading fantasy novels, of course they’re backed up by studies and research and science. You know what screw him, and Laura and Gav, I don’t care what they think
Dylan: I don’t know why I notice it, it’s just a small comment on one of those long “follow these 15 rules to get girls” posts, but something about it grabs my attention.
Katie: I’m only half absorbing what I’m reading, still playing that conversation over and over in my head, until… something about this sentence breaks through.
Dylan: “Only simps listen to this bullshit, stop begging for these females’ attention, the slutty bitches only go for rich chads #redpill #goERonit”
Katie: “I am going to enter the hottest sorority house at UCSB and I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blonde slut I see inside there.”
Dylan: I can’t explain what about that comment gets to me. Maybe it’s that he’s the only one on here who seems to realise that this crap everyone treats like gospel doesn’t actually work.
Katie: Elliot Rodger. That was the first time I heard about him.
Dylan: Or maybe it’s… he sounds so angry, and for the first time it feels like maybe that’s ok? Like don’t I have the right to be angry? I’ve tried so hard for so long to do everything right, to fit in, to get a girlfriend and nothing works. It’s not fair.
Katie: I can’t stop reading, like I physically can’t pull myself away. How is he real? How can anyone, think like this? I can’t understand it. I need to know more.
Dylan: I need to know more, I need to see if this guy actually gets it, if someone out there really does understand how I feel. It’s easy, I’m on his profile, follow a few quick links and then… I’m here.
And I’m not alone.
Katie: It’s not just this Rodger guy, there are thousands of men just like him, posting, and sharing, and liking some of the most awful things I’ve ever seen in my life.
Dylan: I’m finally- this is a group who understands. I don’t know how long I’ve been on this forum, scrolling through every comment thread, it could have been hours or minutes but I feel like, I don’t know, a veil has been lifted or something
Katie: They treat him like he’s some kind of hero. Elliot Rodger. Like he was a saviour or something. Not all of them, of course, but the ones who don’t… it’s not ‘cause they think he was sick, or insane, or a murdering pyscho… they’re just mad that he didn’t take down more of us on his big day.
Dylan: Finally, everything about my life is starting to make sense. I’d always been told that men have all the power, you know male privilege or whatever, but that’s a lie. How could I have spent my whole life so miserable if that was really true? Where was my male privilege when I got rejected and excluded again and again? It doesn’t make any sense. But these guys do. You see, it’s the women. They’re the ones who have been manipulating and controlling us for years, making us feel like we’re worthless, withholding sex and love and everything that makes life worth living.
Katie: I don’t know how long I’ve been reading, I can see the sun starting to rise through my window but I can’t stop now.
Dylan: The name Elliot Rodger keeps popping up, there are others too, but this guy seems like he was... I don’t know I just want to understand him.
I’ve found his manifesto.
Katie: I’ve found his manifesto. 137 pages long. I should just go to sleep.
Both reading from manifesto
“All I ever wanted was to fit in and live a happy life amongst humanity, but I was cast out and rejected…
Dylan: The holiday season was the best part of the year for me. I was filled with joy when it started snowing outside.
Katie: They deserved to die horrible painful deaths for the crime of enjoying a better life than me.
Dylan: Having no friends, the only people who even wished me happy birthday were my immediate family members.
Katie: I wanted to ruin their fun just like they ruined mine.
Dylan: I soaked my pillow with tears as I drifted off to sleep in my lonely bed.
Katie: Why did things have to be this way?
Dylan: Everywhere I went, I was all by myself, while other young people had friends and girlfriends.
Katie: Women are like a plague. They don’t deserve to have any rights.
Dylan: A man having a beautiful girl by his side shows the world that he is worth something.
Katie: The Day of Retribution had always been at the back of my mind as a final solution if all else failed in my life.
Dylan: If my status in life were better, I would think this world to be a magnificent place.
Katie: I will punish all females for the crime of depriving me of sex.
Dylan: I spent a lot of time exercising in my room in a final effort to appear as attractive as possible to girls.
Katie: They are all spoiled, wicked, heartless bitches.
Dylan: Everyone will fear me as the powerful god I am.
Katie: May 24th 2014 was the final date. No postponing it anymore, no backing out.
Dylan: The Day of Retribution is my sole purpose in this world and I am ready.
Katie: Women represent everything that is unfair with this world, and in order to make it a fair place, they must all be eradicated.
Dylan: I will kill them all and make them suffer, just as they have made me suffer.
Katie: I am the true victim in all of this. I am the good guy.