When I was four, mum let me play around on the beach with no bra on. It was OK, I was just a child.
When I was eight, mum didn’t want me to touch her make-up, nor her high heels, because I was still a kid and didn’t want to drag attention to me or her. It was OK, I was just a child.
When I was twelve, puberty started, I got my period for the first time, my breasts were changing, small hairs started growing everywhere. Teachers told me not to talk about my menstruation in public, because it was not “ladylike” or even “gross”. Boys were making fun of my breasts, because they were “getting bigger”. Society made me believe I had to remove every single hair that could be visible. And so I did what they told me and wanted me to do, without questioning. It was OK, I was just a teenager.
When I was sixteen, I wanted to go out, have fun with friends. I dressed up, put make-up on, showed a bit more skin. Mum told me not to, I shouldn’t show that much skin, I shouldn’t put that much make-up on, I shouldn’t have too much fun or drink. “I could get aggressed” or “I could get called a slut, a whore”, “Women already get sexualized and objectified, don’t make it worse”, she said. I listened to her, got back into my room, changed into trousers, showed no skin, took off my make-up, promised not to drink or drag attention to myself. It was OK, I was just a teenager.
When I was seventeen, I had to go home, but I had no car and no one to pick me up. I decided to walk home, it was dark outside, but it was only a twenty-minute-walk. But I was scared, I didn’t know what of, but I was still scared. The worst scenarios crossed my mind, I could get raped, I could get kidnapped, or a group of young men could catcall me or follow me. But I took my courage in both hands, hurried on and didn’t look up. I was mentally prepared for the worst, I knew, if something happened, I would say no and defend myself.
But for them “no” doesn’t mean “no”, it means we want it. Showing skin means we want it.
Wearing a skirt means we want it. Getting drunk means we want it. Putting make-upon means we want it. We literally scream that we want it, all the time.
If we’re lucky, we get home safely, and continue to live. We hide our bodies, feel safe only with a man at our side and let society rule our lives.
But it’s OK, we’re JUST girls…