Whenever I am faced with a setback in life, it reminds me of a particular situation I experienced. On 24th July 2014, Air Algérie Flight 5017 from Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso, to Algiers, Algeria crashed in Mali. Among the 116 passengers on board was my best friend, on a mission for a non-profit organization. There were no survivors.
That day changed my life.
My friend was only 20 years old. I did not understand why she had to die. Why her? Before she left, we‘d had a little argument. I knew it was my fault but I hadn’t been brave enough to apologize because I thought she might reject me and would end our friendship that was so special to me. She was 4 years older than me. Like an older sister I never had, she had supported me through all my adolescent struggles and helped me find myself.
In the evening I ran away with a little notebook and sat on a bench and started writing down all the things that will left unsaid forever. I wrote her a letter promising that I’d do everything to succeed in life for her. I discovered my love for expressing myself through writing.
Also, music showed me that I was not alone with my grief. It made me feel less desperate and reminded me of the good times. Music still has a special place in my heart and whenever I feel I can’t express my feelings through words, I lose myself in beautiful lyrics and lovely melodies that remind me how beautiful and precious life can be.
The loss I experienced made me realize how limited our time on earth is. I became more aware of what’s really worth my energy. In the beginning I took all my decisions with regard to her, and I did not realize that no matter what I do, it won’t bring her back. With the time, I learned that I have to do things for myself instead of trying to please others. I needed to stop living in the past and to reach out to others.
The truth is I will never get the opportunity to apologize to my friend for past mistakes. In the same way, the pilot can never make good his failure to activate the engine anti-icing systems thus causing this plane crash.
But I forgave him and it liberated my soul. I forgave myself for not being perfect. Now I know that in my life, I will make another million mistakes and that it is important to turn them into learning experiences.
As time moved on, I found new friends that I trusted and opening up was a great way to accept what had happened. I know that no one is ever going to take her place which will remain unique. I cherish true friendship, and being in contact with my best friends is of prime importance. For me, friendship means understanding, ever lasting memories, forgiveness and love.
I know that life does not always follow my plan but sometimes, certain, even sad, events end up bringing positive changes that I may not even have thought about. In these situations, I allow myself to be reflective or unhappy for some time but I don’t want to be stuck in this particular moment. I know that I have to move on, to stand up for my goals and my convictions.
I have learned that life is more of a process, and that we are allowed to make mistakes to develop empathy and resilience.