She wished she could go back to when she didn’t care what she ate,
When her body was no reflection of her mental state,
Her friends wonder why she rushes away after every meal,
But what they could not see was her kneel,
With her hands down her throat,
All because of that one quote,
You are what you eat,
And that small piece of meat,
Would stay on her hips,
For it was once at her lips,
She wished she did not care what people said,
But when they speak of her body her legs turn to lead,
And now her family is scared,
And her mother despaired,
For the happy little girl she was before,
Is gone,
And she does not want to be here anymore,
But it’ll all be worth it in the end,
Why is that so hard for everybody to comprehend,
For she will have the body of an envy,
And finally be loved by so many,
So she lies on the bathroom floor,
Ignoring the pounding at the door,
It’s all worth it,
And happiness she can admit,
Because she is down half a kilogram,
She has passed her own exam,
And even though her hair is thinning,
She somehow believes she’s winning,
For her mind makes her think she’s fine,
Though eating now feels like a crime,
But nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,
And why does she need three whole meals,
Her friends are now in fear,
As they watch her disappear,
But they must just be jealous,
Because everybody else is saying “tell us”
How you lost the weight,
And how she now looks so great,
How they would kill for that waist,
The figure that looks like it’s been traced,
But what they do not see,
Is that she is dying slowly,
For that body they call nice,
Leaves her veins feeling like ice,
And she won’t call out for aid,
All they can do is watch her fade,
Because the sound of her stomachs groan,
Makes her feel she’s not alone,
But can’t you see,
That this girl is me,
And it’ll all be worth it in the end,
Right?
Because one day my happiness will not depend,
On a two digit number that shines on the floor,
Because I will know that I am worth more,
One day I will learn to love my figure,
And silly remarks will no longer trigger,
Those thoughts in my head,
I shall no longer dread,
Looking at myself in the mirror,
Because I can now see clearer,
I am not a number,
Not a failure if I fail to skip breakfast and dinner,
I don’t need to be thinner,
I am enough,
For me.