Prix Laurence - Bettembourg Prix Laurence 2020 - Luxembourg

Prix Laurence 2020

Rubio Doering Lena - Truth or Death?




They are all around.

In ears,

In hallways,



Truth creeps up on you

Like no other.

When you least expect or need.


Friends or Backstabbers?

I am no longer sure.

I thought,

I wish,

I knew

It would end up something like this.


So naive.

Oh how was I 

So blind

So dumb

So young 

Too young to know for sure.


Distance put between two souls.

One is lost 

And one controls

The other like dolls

Hooked on strings

Waiting for the piercing ring

Of the text coming next...

I feel like I'm breaking inside.


Put your trust in the hands of a friend.

A journey so long it never ends.

She may break your heart 

Worse than any fiend.

I feel like I'm breaking inside.


Laughter echoes within my skull


Searing the marrow's bone.

Wants to be amused?

Maybe amusing.

But for me not as much as for her.


Too uptight? 

Am I scared?

Hearts breaking?

Life ending?

Who will ever know?

I feel like I'm  breaking inside.


Embarrassment takes over like never before.

Melting on the spot.

Blacked out

But, at the same time, not.

Choking up on words that won't appear.

Waiting for answers nowhere near. 

I feel like I'm breaking inside.


All natural instincts 

Scream to run away

From the state of mind

From the (once thought) kind

girl who I thought was my friend.

But I dont want to end 

The bonds we have built;

Far too precious to destruct.

I feel like I'm breaking inside.


Gazing into reflections 

Waiting for something to happen.

No one is going to help.

I'll figure it out by myself.


I must hold on.

Try to stay strong.

Live another day.


I am breaking inside.


eingesendet am: 21:57 Fri, 13 March 2020 von: Rubio Doering Lena


Prix Laurence 2020

Rubio Doering Lena - Held hostage.



Only one thing crossed my mind at this point: pain. Unbearable pain that shocked me every time it hit. Its strikes seared my skin and the inside of my gut. Like needles being passed through material; travelling almost the whole way through, but retreating at the last moment, realising that it had not passed through the way it bad been expected to.

The provocative poking pushed me to a completely different level of unendurable pain. Its razor-sharp talons ripping my sanity apart left me with cramps, forcing me into awkward positions that made me an easier target. The worst part was that I didn't know when it was going to attack me next. It fought with no visible pattern.

Trying desperately to distract myself from my problem, I thought about the room next door. A translucent glass door with an oak wooden frame separated the two chambers from one another. Even behind that, I could see an explosion of bright yellow light. Swirling clouds of smoke neared the door, but that had happened multiple times before, causing no problems or damage. Sudden irritation ambushed me. Just as I had managed to distract myself, my stomach fools me, mocking me. Probably saying, "HA! You thought!"

Although intolerable agony coursed through my body, something else seemed to distract me: an indescribable smell that danced underneath my nostrils, slightly drugging me out. It was coming from the room next door.

My younger brother sat opposite me. His facial expression told me that he, also, was having the same invisible assaults as I was (which made me feel no better).

The smell. My nose tried to ignore the smell. It was getting bothersome.

Two grown adults entered the dimly lit room, holding round metal bowls. Both of them seemed oblivious to the fact that both my brother and I were suffering. Or perhaps they did not care. Feeling weakened, I could no longer concentrate on anything. I heard nothing of what they were mumbling to one another. Not a single word. They shoved a great deal of metal utensils onto the surface, making a clattering sound whilst doing so. Like the sound before an operation... Zoning out, my eyes unfocused. I could stand no more. I clenched my teeth together, not daring to show them any vulnerability.

They left. All of the tension flopped out of my body. Until I heard the pitter patter of footsteps coming from the room next door. Our hosts came back in with more utensils and metal bowls. If only they could stop entering and exiting the room; the more they did, the more excruciating the pain in my gut became.

Then came the moment we had both been waiting for. My mother looked into my eyes with sympathy. "Well, what are you waiting for? Dig in!"


eingesendet am: 18:53 Sun, 15 March 2020 von: Rubio Doering Lena



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Kleine Lektüre-Empfehlungen:


-  Liebe Kitty
Ihr Romanentwurf, Secession, 2019


-  Ist das ein Mensch?
KZ Bericht, Hanser, 2011


-  Schutzzone
Roman, Suhrkamp, 2019


-  Altes Land
Roman, Penguin, 2015

-  Mittagsstunde
Roman, Penguin, 2018


-  Der Fluss
(The River) Ü.: Matthias Strobel

Roman, Nagel & Kimche, 2019


-  Aus Mangel an Beweisen
Deutsche Lyrik 2008 - 2018
Hrsgb.: M. Braun und H. Thill
Wunderhorn, 2018


-  Gedichte
Königshausen & Neumann, 2018

-  Nicht von jetzt, nicht von hier
Roman, Königshausen & Neumann, 2017


-  Sämtliche Gedichte
Piper, 2015


-  Hundert Freuden
Gedichte, Suhrkamp, 1996


-  Asymmetrie
Gedichte, Hanser, 2017


-  Von Beruf Schriftsteller
Essays, Dumont, 2016


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