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Jost Estefania


The battle of self-love

The battle of self-love

Who would have thought that loving yourself could be so hard?

The battle inside that no one sees,

It’s harder than it seems,

Fighting the demons inside my mind

Hiding in a shell, afraid to talk 

 

i’m looking in the mirror disappointment staring back at me

Drowning in an ocean surrounded by darkness, 

Fear and insecurities inside growing heavier with time,

Some shadows claiming me,

Imagining a life where this would not be 

 

Constantly worrying what people might think of me,

Me, the struggle to be who i really want to be

Feeling like a burden to everyone around me 

Thinking i scare them off by being me

Me, unlovable to the people i meet 

 

Recovering step by step with the help of angels

Getting their support from outside,

Letting them in and after a while seeing the light

This light becomming bigger and always stronger 

i feel ready to fight this war inside

 

Getting far, but stumbling back down,

My light stolen by shadows 

Dragging me back to the ground,

The world, sinks back into black 

How comforting, what if I dont go back?

 

On the fence unsure of what to do 

 

Knowing i can fall again,

But not ready to give up just yet,

Standing up again with newly found motivation 

Starting to see the beauty in me with all my flaws

Looking at the mirror again complimenting the sight that i see

 

Realising how i can solve the problem,

Unifying the demons inside by hugging them tight and breaking the curse,

Embracing their shadows and accepting the truth,

Conquering the beasts inside, 

Showering them with the love they deserve.

 

The alliance is made,

The pact is done and i am free.

Free to be the real me,

With my past gone 

And a bright future is what I see

 

Now not caring anymore what people might be thinking,

Just living my life the way I want and the way I should have from the beginning.

Accepting the truth of me, proud of myself for loving who I really am

Happy to have achieved the thing that seemed impossible to me,

With my battle scars for everyone to see

 


 




Submitted: 11:51 Mon, 11 March 2024 by : Jost Estefania age : 17